Every foster parent brings unique strengths and experience to their role. Every child has different needs, so it is a great thing that many different types of people become foster parents, but there are still some key things every foster parent needs. 1. Love This is key for any parent so it is also important for foster parents. It may seem obvious, but I am saying it anyway because we’ve encountered some people who seem to think foster parents should or do love foster kids l

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said this when he was giving a speech in Montgomery, Alabama in 1957. It is a question that we should still be asking ourselves. Martin Luther King Jr. Day is January 21. In 1994 MLK Day was declared a national day of service in addition to being a federal holiday. In the spirit of Dr. King’s memory, think about ways you can serve your community as a family. Though fos

Foster parents are used to dealing with the ugly realities of this life, but we may not think about the fact that removing children from unsafe home situations doesn’t prevent them from facing abuse from their peers. The unfortunate truth is that kids who are different in any way are more likely to be bullied and kids in foster care are no exception. Bullying is actually a big problem for many foster kids for a number of reasons. Some may have experienced bullying before ente

Foster children’s families may have made some poor choices, but they usually truly love their children and worry about their wellbeing. Like any parent, they want to know who is taking care of their children and how the kids are doing. All three of the families we have gotten to know have thanked us for taking good care of their children and said that meeting us and getting to know us a little bit made them feel a little bit better about their children being in foster care. T

Respite care can be a great support for foster parents, especially treatment foster parents, especially when the kids have a good experience. Because foster kids have experienced abrupt removals from their own home and/or other foster homes, going to a new place may cause a lot of anxiety. Advance planning and conversations can help ease the anxiety and help you have more peace of mind so you can take care of yourself while your kids are in respite care. Foster parents know t

Laundry: one of the unending struggles of parenthood. All parents have pondered the mystery of how such small people can produce so much laundry. Much to my surprise, even something as commonplace laundry can be more challenging for foster families. Most recently, I rediscovered this fact when we were doing respite care for two young boys. I expected to have increased laundry with the increased number of children, but figured I would only have to do a few more loads while the

I always say that anything can happen in foster care, and yet I am still surprised in big and small ways. This week was one of those weeks that brought big surprises. I mentioned in a former post that we had court this week and the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) trial would begin unless our little guy’s father chose to surrender his parental rights. I fully expected a TPR trial because we were told that the father was not going to agree to surrender his parental rights.

Stranger Danger is a basic concept that parents teach their kids in order to keep them safe. Unfortunately, the concept of stranger danger, like many things, is much more complicated for children in foster care. Not only are foster children taken from everyone familiar and placed in a family with total strangers, they also have a large number of people coming in and out of their lives, many of whom are basically strangers. Our little guy is the friendliest child I have ever m

Last week, our little guy came home from a visit and had explosive gastrointestinal distress (I will spare you the horrifying details) because his father fed him excessive amounts of fruit and juice. This is not the first time he drank so much juice during a visit that he had diarrhea, but it was the most intense reaction he’s had. Unfortunately, I can only report to the caseworker what happened (again) and ask her to try and prevent it from happening again. Our little guy’s

Our little guy loves Daniel Tiger . We don’t let him have much screen time , but it’s the main thing he does watch. In general, I love the show too because it teaches important social and emotional lessons and helps children learn to deal with their feelings in a healthy way. The team behind the show follows the rigorous process Fred Rogers utilized to communicate in a way children could understand and that would be inclusive. Every episode has a little song to help the child

Respite care can be a great way for foster parents to get some time for self-care , but preparing for your children to stay with a stranger can be very stressful. My husband and I currently have two boys staying with us for respite care. Being on this side of respite has taught me a lot about what respite providers need to know. Beyond the basics like medical conditions, allergies, schedule, and your contact information, there are a lot of little things that can help the resp

As foster parents, we can control what we post online and monitor our kids’ social media use, but there are so many other people and organizations in our lives that could potentially post our foster kids’ photos or information. I knew we couldn’t share our kids’ photos before I became a foster parent, but I didn’t think about everyone else. It is important remember to ask family and friends not to post a foster child’s image online. Our friends and family have been very under

As a naïve young teen in the early days of online chat rooms, I blindly wandered into the treacherous waters of the internet and neither I nor my parents had any idea of the potential threats I could have encountered. Looking back, I am thankful that I was able to avoid danger, but this experience has made me realize how essential it is for parents to understand the social media our children are using so we can better protect our kids. As foster parents, we have an even more

When I scroll through my facebook newsfeed, it’s filled with adorable photos of my friends’ children. My kids are incredibly cute, the only photos of adorable children I’ve posted are the stock photos from articles I’ve shared. Because confidentiality is important both out of respect for our foster kids and their families and for their safety, foster parents cannot post their photos (or share their information) on social media. In the digital age, when it seems like a moment

You only need to read a handful of foster care blogs to realize that agency and government support for foster parents varies drastically. It also becomes clear that lack of support is one of the biggest sources of frustration for foster parents. Foster parenting is already challenging, doing it without good support is excruciating. This also contributes to the alarming fact that almost half of foster parents quit in the first year. A good support system is even more crucial f

One of the reasons former and current foster parents say they quit or have considered quitting foster care is that they don’t feel supported. Foster parenting is challenging, and it is important to know how to find the support you need. You can find support in many ways whether it’s formal, informal, or professional. At Intercept Treatment Foster Care, we believe that foster parents are a valuable part of children’s treatment teams and we appreciate their input and hard work.

Foster kids are still kids. It seems like this should go without saying, but sadly, that is not always the case. Yes, foster kids have experienced trauma of some sort and may need some extra patience and grace, but at the end of the day, they are still kids. Like all kids, they need a loving family, friends, and supportive community. They, like all people want to be accepted and valued for who they are and not stereotyped. They want to fit in and not be treated differently th

Compassion fatigue is something all foster parents should know about because it is an all-too-common pitfall for those caring for people who have experienced trauma. Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress, occurs when caregivers have stress-induced, negative impacts from their second-hand exposure to trauma. As a result of being overwhelmed by the trauma of others, people may gradually shut down emotionally. Those once passionate about caring for others

“That will never happen to us.” This is what I thought when a veteran foster parent shared about the impact foster parenting has had on her friendships. She said that her circle of friends changed a lot because some of her close friends prior to foster parenting weren’t supportive of foster parenting. While I was so sad to hear that she had that experience, I thought I knew our close friends well enough to say they would all be very supportive. Sadly, I was wrong; it did happ

1. Know Your Limits You need to establish your limits before you even have a child placed in your home. Children in foster care have experienced trauma, and as a result may have behaviors or other health needs that require extra care, this is especially true in treatment foster care. While it doesn’t take a superhero to be a foster parent or provide treatment foster care, you do need to make sure you are able to care for the children you welcome into your home. At Intercept T