Every foster parent brings unique strengths and experience to their role. Every child has different needs, so it is a great thing that many different types of people become foster parents, but there are still some key things every foster parent needs. 1. Love This is key for any parent so it is also important for foster parents. It may seem obvious, but I am saying it anyway because we’ve encountered some people who seem to think foster parents should or do love foster kids l

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said this when he was giving a speech in Montgomery, Alabama in 1957. It is a question that we should still be asking ourselves. Martin Luther King Jr. Day is January 21. In 1994 MLK Day was declared a national day of service in addition to being a federal holiday. In the spirit of Dr. King’s memory, think about ways you can serve your community as a family. Though fos

Last week, our little guy came home from a visit and had explosive gastrointestinal distress (I will spare you the horrifying details) because his father fed him excessive amounts of fruit and juice. This is not the first time he drank so much juice during a visit that he had diarrhea, but it was the most intense reaction he’s had. Unfortunately, I can only report to the caseworker what happened (again) and ask her to try and prevent it from happening again. Our little guy’s

Respite care can be a great way for foster parents to get some time for self-care , but preparing for your children to stay with a stranger can be very stressful. My husband and I currently have two boys staying with us for respite care. Being on this side of respite has taught me a lot about what respite providers need to know. Beyond the basics like medical conditions, allergies, schedule, and your contact information, there are a lot of little things that can help the resp

As foster parents, we can control what we post online and monitor our kids’ social media use, but there are so many other people and organizations in our lives that could potentially post our foster kids’ photos or information. I knew we couldn’t share our kids’ photos before I became a foster parent, but I didn’t think about everyone else. It is important remember to ask family and friends not to post a foster child’s image online. Our friends and family have been very under

As a naïve young teen in the early days of online chat rooms, I blindly wandered into the treacherous waters of the internet and neither I nor my parents had any idea of the potential threats I could have encountered. Looking back, I am thankful that I was able to avoid danger, but this experience has made me realize how essential it is for parents to understand the social media our children are using so we can better protect our kids. As foster parents, we have an even more

When I scroll through my facebook newsfeed, it’s filled with adorable photos of my friends’ children. My kids are incredibly cute, the only photos of adorable children I’ve posted are the stock photos from articles I’ve shared. Because confidentiality is important both out of respect for our foster kids and their families and for their safety, foster parents cannot post their photos (or share their information) on social media. In the digital age, when it seems like a moment

You only need to read a handful of foster care blogs to realize that agency and government support for foster parents varies drastically. It also becomes clear that lack of support is one of the biggest sources of frustration for foster parents. Foster parenting is already challenging, doing it without good support is excruciating. This also contributes to the alarming fact that almost half of foster parents quit in the first year. A good support system is even more crucial f

One of the reasons former and current foster parents say they quit or have considered quitting foster care is that they don’t feel supported. Foster parenting is challenging, and it is important to know how to find the support you need. You can find support in many ways whether it’s formal, informal, or professional. At Intercept Treatment Foster Care, we believe that foster parents are a valuable part of children’s treatment teams and we appreciate their input and hard work.

Foster kids are still kids. It seems like this should go without saying, but sadly, that is not always the case. Yes, foster kids have experienced trauma of some sort and may need some extra patience and grace, but at the end of the day, they are still kids. Like all kids, they need a loving family, friends, and supportive community. They, like all people want to be accepted and valued for who they are and not stereotyped. They want to fit in and not be treated differently th

Compassion fatigue is something all foster parents should know about because it is an all-too-common pitfall for those caring for people who have experienced trauma. Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress, occurs when caregivers have stress-induced, negative impacts from their second-hand exposure to trauma. As a result of being overwhelmed by the trauma of others, people may gradually shut down emotionally. Those once passionate about caring for others

“That will never happen to us.” This is what I thought when a veteran foster parent shared about the impact foster parenting has had on her friendships. She said that her circle of friends changed a lot because some of her close friends prior to foster parenting weren’t supportive of foster parenting. While I was so sad to hear that she had that experience, I thought I knew our close friends well enough to say they would all be very supportive. Sadly, I was wrong; it did happ

1. Know Your Limits You need to establish your limits before you even have a child placed in your home. Children in foster care have experienced trauma, and as a result may have behaviors or other health needs that require extra care, this is especially true in treatment foster care. While it doesn’t take a superhero to be a foster parent or provide treatment foster care, you do need to make sure you are able to care for the children you welcome into your home. At Intercept T

People are curious about foster care and often want to ask foster parents questions. We know this and are usually open to talking, but make sure what you say is not rude or invasive. Certain things foster parents often hear drive us crazy so here’s some advice on things to avoid and suggestions for what to say instead. 1. What did the kids do? I cannot say this enough times: children do not enter foster care because they are bad. Kids are in foster care because of neglect or

You may be convinced that, as discussed in our previous post, children need attachment and it is good when foster parents get attached. Even so, the fear of heartbreak when a child leaves may still be a roadblock to becoming a foster parent. I cannot deny that this is a reality of foster care; I can only say is that it is worth it. It is better to have our hearts broken than have a child go without a family, even temporarily. Most people would never willingly volunteer for he

The number one response I get when I share that I’m a foster parent is, “I could never do that; I’d get too attached.” People usually mean well when they say this, and the conversation is more awkward than rude, but I do think it’s important to address this sentiment because it is a real barrier for a lot of people who may otherwise consider foster care. When my husband and I first started the process, I basically smiled and nodded when people said this. Now that I have a bet

I have always wanted to be a mom, so I love talking about parenting in general and my kids in particular. Exchanging ideas and silly anecdotes with other moms is something I really enjoy, but sometimes it gets awkward. You see, as a foster parent, my parenting experience is not “typical.” Our friends and family know we’re foster parents and I can share about foster care peculiarities with them without much confusion. When talking with moms I don’t know well, however, I have a

An important part of the process of becoming a foster parent is the home study. A home study allows the licensing agency to assess the fitness of prospective foster parents, their household, and their home to provide care to foster children. This can seem like a daunting process, but it is a great way for the foster care agency to get to know you and for you to ask questions and get to know the agency. The home study and initial training allow you and the agency to make sure

Sometimes people say incredibly intrusive things and seem to think that they have the right to know the most intimate details of your family. This happens even more if people know you are a foster parent. The most important thing to remember when you respond to people in these situations is that you need to do what is best for your children and what other people think doesn’t matter. Even if you are talking with a close friend or family member, it’s ok to decline to answer, c

Treatment Foster Care or Therapeutic Foster Care allows children and youth with a higher level of medical and/or behavioral needs who need to enter foster care to live with a family, which research shows is the best environment for children. As explained in our video FAQ, “What is TFC?” children and youth in treatment foster care tend to be older (over four) and have more behavior issues than children in standard foster care. These children need foster parents who are willing